‘Close to Reality’

Why I kept my blog post name ‘Close to reality’ ? We all have been searching for answers, deep inside us.I wish I could have a memory of what I felt like when I was born. That one feeling when you might have felt the best and protected and been truly loved. All the other forms of love I cannot even compare because somewhere we all are human beings and have a selfish appetite to our character. I remember having memory from the time they say, we develop our senses. I term it as a stupid sense. As we grow, our brain attains knowledge and learn about surroundings and people.We see,hear and learn and at that moment, we just want to know more and see more and do more. Because all we were told while growing are all good things will happen to us when we attain a certain level in our lives. After attaining the defined level, you still have the curiosity and your soul is still searching for answers to undefined unknown questions. There were many a times in our lives, when we truly wanted to trust someone and were equally hurt with the intensity you wanted to trust. We wanted to dive in something and believed that someone will not let us drown.Have we ever realized, might not be human being but maybe you helped yourself or some stranger or simply a thought. Sometimes when we are depressed, few words of someone can enlighten you to your core.For me, my energy is my mother. I can write endless words in her fondness but that is special to me and I cannot share with anyone.How this connect to what I initiated, I can explain. So, those of us who do not believe in any energy, I might give you a chance to think what you will term the energy that flows when you are sitting next to your mother. Whatever pain you are going through mentally or emotionally, everything subsides. For me, this energy is my mother.You may have it in some other name. Unlike many, I am not traditional or religious but I cannot deny the energy. To me my energy is in the form of truth,values.You feel comfortable around some people instantly and sometimes you just keep trying hard to be comfortable with someone you know for ages. Sometimes a Hello from someone or a smile makes your day but thousand fake words from someone do not make any sense to you. There are many of us who are void of such energy and keep on wandering in search of solace. For those of us, believe in yourself and do believe that you will surely get the peace if you keep your patience.I have found myself much at peace being close to this reality and I still have not stopped my search.

Out of ‘My’ comfort zone

Its called ‘comfort zone’ for the reason as the saying goes. Sounds logical and obvious at first instance, but it needs deeper thoughts to analyze the worth of it.

Let’s define the comfort zone first. It is a life style or a routine, we have evolved into, which gives us satisfaction, which fulfills our all primary needs at that particular time and which gives us a feeling of settled life. It is a wheel where we need to put same efforts daily but those efforts are not demanding as we are immuned to it. The yield is constant and we are good with it.

The only thing constant in human life is change.With no efforts of ours, we go through changes and we adapt them as and when they occur.Every growth in our life, since we take birth, is due to the change in the routine.As an infant we are on the mercy of our parents.They force us to start learning to walk.It hurts,it takes an effort,it seems easy the way it was in your mother’s warmth.But we do get out of that first comfort zone and this kick starts the never-ending fight within ourselves, whether or not to break the routine,we are set in.

The only thing in our body and life which is in our hand is the development of our brain.The primary reason we must try to break the routine is to discover oneself, to gain new experiences and to increase the yield,which can be in any form.

The biggest crime one does in life is to not explore within.Until we start saying yes  to the opportunities life throws at us,we will never know how much capable we really are and what our X factor is.

There will always be excuses of not doing any new thing. You will always see hundreds of reasons of why you should not do what you have been wanting to do and dreaming of.

Just think about that one reason out of others,to say ‘YES’ to the opportunity you have.Just make one more excuse,but this time to DO the thing and get out of the monotonous, non yielding, non progressing circle you have forced yourself in.

Let’s end(or start) with a better saying – ‘ We are not perfect human beings, nor do we have to pretend to be, but it is necessary for us to be the best version of ourselves we can be’.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

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The Wrong Taxi

I was going home for my Engagement after three long months .I had to catch the late night train from Mumbai central,16 Km from my house.In order to be at time,I left office at 5:00 pm.You feel privileged to leave your office at this time in Mumbai.I reached home & started packing.It was around 9 pm ,I was able to leave my house after making sure that everything was packed properly & most of important things were in my bag.I knew I was late to book a cab & so,I took a rickshaw to taxi stand.It was night & I was in hurry.I just randomly asked a taxi driver if he would go to Mumbai Central & got down of my rickshaw. As i was getting late already ,I somehow managed to dump my luggage in the back seat & be seated in the front seat adjacent to the driver.I took a moment to cool myself & started enjoying silent drive. After 5 minutes drive,driver trying to start a conversation asked in a very scary tone,”Kidhar se aa rahi ho tum ?” ( from where are you coming ?).I do not enjoy conversation with strangers & then the time,tone of his questions were enough for me to be irritated at once.I saw his face & got a feeling that he was drunk.Oh dear lord !I was in a wrong taxi.Why didn’t i took some time to analyse the driver before getting into taxi.My mom always tells me to judge the driver by certain characteristics.I am known to be tough but at that moment, a feeling of fear got in right down to my heart especially because of increasing rate in crime against women.I had to reach Mumbai Central.If I shout at him & he stops the taxi to leaves me alone,I will miss my engagement ( Yes such weird things happen on important occasions 🙂 ).

I decided to keep my calm & continued to listen.With more & more unwanted questions coming from his side,I was getting more & more furious ,scared .Then he asked me ,”Dar nahi lagta tumko?” (Arn’t you afraid?).I told him bravely that I don’t fear anyone because my father is an army officer and I am taught to be fearless.His questions were irritating me already.On top of it,typical language ‘tumko’ he used with an undignified tone attached to it was making me angry.I was thinking, one more word and I will punch him right in his face( only if I could).He asked again,”kya karti ho?” and told him that I am serving in army. He looked at me with surprise as if I am lying( Yes,I was).There was a change in his tone now.The aggressive & commanding tone suddenly turned into a polite one.He was humble asking another question,”apko gun chalani to ati hogi?”( Do you know how to use pistol?).The journey from ‘tum’ to ‘apko’ ( respect with words) wasn’t that easy :D.Realising that we have almost covered the lonely road & will be entering the crowded area soon,I started participating in the conversation.I told him that army officers/commandents’ have a tracking device with them.The moment we board a taxi,all the details are mapped on the central FBI server & so it is very easy to track any misshapen & catch the criminal.The game was all on my side now.The driver continued to tell me about how easily pistols & other legal documents  available in shady lanes of Mumbai & UP without any legal procedure.

The 40 minutes drive had become one of the lengthier drive in my life.I was so relaxed,when taxi finally entered the busy lanes of Mumbai Central.At last,I reached my destination.He told me he had tried to strike a conversation as it was such a long journey.He advised me to always keep pepper spray & precisely ‘Rampuri chaku’ (the one which flips open in a second after pressing a button on the knife).I was so happy & relaxed.While i was going,he just called back from behind,’ madame!!aap bahut chalu ho’.( means Madame you are very smart).

One lesson i have learnt for lifetime is to never be in a hurry & take a risk to travel alone in night.I don’t know ,if I really acted smart or if I was overreacting.If I was travelling in a Right Taxi.

Was it really a Wrong Taxi ?

I decided to keep my calm & continued to listen.With more & more unwanted questions comming from his side,I was getting more & more furious ,scared .Then he asked me ,”Dar nahi lagta tumko?” (Arn’t you afraid?).I told him bravely that I dont fear anyone because my father is an army officer and I am taught to be fearless.His questions were irritationg me already.On top of it,typical language ‘tumko’ he used with an undignified tone attached to it was making me angry.I was thinking, one more word and I will punch him right in his face( only if I could).He asked again,”kya karti ho?” and told him that I am serving in army. He looked at me with surprise as if I am lying( Yes,I was).There was achange in his tone now.The aggresive & commanding tone suddenly turned into a polite one.He was humble asking another question,”apko gun chalani to ati hogi?”( Do you know how to use pistol?).The journey from ‘tum’ to ‘apko’ ( respect with words) wasn’t that easy :D.Realising that we have alomst covered the lonely road & will be entering the crowded area soon,I started participating in the converation.I told him that army officers/commandents’ have a tracking device with them.The moment we board a taxi,all the details are mapped on the central FBI server & so it is very easy to track any mishappening & catch the criminal.The game was all on my side now.The driver continued to tell me about how easily pistols & other legal documents  available in shaddy lanes of Mumbai & UP without any legal procedure.

The 40 minutes drive had become one of the lenghtiest drive in my life.I was so relaxed,when taxi finally entered the busy lanes of Mumbai Central.At last,I reached my destination.He told me he had tried to strike a conversation as it was such a long journey.He advised me to always keep pepper spray & precisely ‘Rampuri chaku’ (the one which flips open in a second after pressing a button on the knife).I was so happy & relaxed.While i was going,he just called back from behind,’ madame!!aap bahut chalu ho’.( means Madame you are very smart).

One lesson i have learnt for lifetime is to never be in a hurry & take a risk to travel alone in night.I don’t know ,if I really acted smart or if I was overreacting.If I was travelling in a Right Taxi.

Was it really a Wrong Taxi ?

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Dry Umbrella

It is 7:00 am in the morning & my alarm ringing high.Being so tired from training at the office and a test ,I snooze the alarm & sleep again.Somehow unlike the usual dry,humid & rough Mumbai mornings,I feel so fresh & want to sleep long.I am having thoughts running over my mind.I have to release an important report which is pending due to my training & maybe some documents to check.I get up at once & look out of the window & it is raining.Streets are  busy with people carrying umbrella & rickshaws running.One thing I love about Bombay is the city never stops.I have been staying in Mumbai for seven long years now and I am in love with this city.Once you have stayed in Mumbai, you find any other city in the country extremely slow.

I grabbed my cellphone lying somewhere in my bed & dropped a message that I am taking an off today.I know its not right to ditch work like this but I know that nothing urgent I have to deliver today and I will manage everything tomorrow.I missed Mumbai rains last year as I was in Norway for my office work.This season,in-spite of water logs,bad smell & long traffic halts, everyone is waiting for first rain which is already delayed a week.All this reminds me that it has been a year,I bought umbrella and never used it.The time has come to put it into good use.My things are so organised  but whenever I want something,I will have to reorganize everything.After struggling for an hour and arranging my things,I finally got my lovely umbrella which is now ready to be used.I am sure it will be difficult to catch rickshaws for few days as i see roads filled with water in very first rain of the season.Who cares? Right now I am just enjoying the fresh air scent from drenched earth and the breeze.

I slept for a while, made coffee for myself,missing my better half who is working in another busy city(He has no liking for Mumbai due to traffic,travelling etc reasons).We will be living together very soon but in some other city.I am stepping into a new start,in a different city and with someone who is going to be my roommate for life.Ours is an arranged marriage but we dated each other before saying ‘Yes’.Saying Yes is never so easy.It is a strong and wise decision after evaluating all odds and even.You cannot be in a trial version and step away that it did not work out. On the other hand,just for the fear of an unwise decision, you cannot hold yourself back.Someday,you will have to face the rain.It is your choice,if you want to dance in the rain or sit back.

Day has been so relaxing & here I am writing with my second cup of coffee thinking maybe I am enjoying Mumbai rains one last time.I hope it continues to rain in best way this year & I can enjoy it one last time with all the moments I have lived.Thank you Mumbai for making me a stronger and a better person. Gathering all  moments,I will enter into a new phase of life to make wonderful moments in a new city.With the hope in my heart to unturn future and enjoy my present,I finally step out to dance in the rain and drench my  umbrella.

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